What’s in a Name?

What's in a Name? loveanddribble.comDespite my best efforts to convince Wills and Kate to name their little girl Her Royal Highness Princess David Beckham of Cambridge, they have opted for something a tad more traditional, with Charlotte Elizabeth Diana.  What's in a Name? loveanddribble.com wills and kateFoiled again.

Never mind. This naming a child shizzle is a tricky business, whether the baby in question is fourth in line to the throne or not.

I believe it goes a little something like this:

Mum-to-be: Dexter?

Dad-to-be: Nope. Went to school with. Big nose. Small feet.

Dad-to-be: Luke?

Mum-to-be: You just want an excuse to do the whole Darth Vadar “I am your father” thing, don’t you?

Mum-to-be: Henry?

Dad-to-be: I knew a dog named Henry once. He was awesome.

Mum-to-be: Willow?

Dad-to-be: Slept with. Webbed feet.

Mum-to-be: Kian?

Dad-to-be: No Westlife.

Dad-to-be: Maximus?

Mum-to-be: No Russell Crowe.

Mum-to-be: Justin?

Dad-to-be: As in Bieber?

Dad-to-be: Peppa?

Mum-to-be: As in pig?

Mum-to-be: Teddy?

Dad-to-be: Worked for. Very waxy ears.

Mum-to-be: Daphne?

Dad-to-be: Dated. Had a fantastic pair of b-

Mum-to-be: Bridget?

Dad-to-be: Old next-door neighbour. Teeth that could eat an apple through a letterbox.

Mum-to-be: Aiden?

Dad-to-be: Works at the corner shop. Uses air freshener as a deodorant.

Mum-to-be: Harriet?

Dad-to-be: Dated. Smells of feet.

Dad-to-be: Zara?

Mum-to-be: Worked with. Personality of a fungal nail infection.

Dad-to-be: Frederick?

Mum-to-be: Dated. Actual fungal nail infection.

Dad-to-be: Mila?

Mum-to-be: Colleague. Talks like Minnie Mouse.

Dad-to-be: Gareth?

Mum-to-be: Dated. Also talks like Minnie Mouse.

Dad-to-be: Layla?

Mum-to-be: Went to school with. Daddy issues.

Dad-to-be: Ivy?

Mum-to-be: Ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. Hair like a toilet brush.

Dad-to-be: Jimmy?

Mum-to-be: Dated. Eleven toes.

Dad-to-be: Rory?

Mum-to-be: Slept with. Highly questionable facial hair.

Dad-to-be: Rosie?

Mum-to-be: Didn’t sleep with, but equally questionable facial hair.

Dad-to-be: Matthew

Mum-to-be: Slept with. Third nipple.

Dad-to-be: Peter

Mum-to-be: Dated. Small willy.

Dad-to-be: Will

Mum-to-be: Slept with. He had the funkiest tasting sp-

Dad-to-be: How many men have you actually slept with?

Mum-to-be: So, Luke you say… I can live with ‘Luke’.

What's in a Name? loveanddribble.com baby giggles

Made you smile? Ruddy marvellous. Why not follow me for more shizzle like this:

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